I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
if only i could text you this smell
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
