I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
