So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
