Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
