did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
