hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
