I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
