I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
