She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
