She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize