you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
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I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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