Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
