At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Randomize