found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
