Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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