I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
