Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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