A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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