Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
