just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
