Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
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