dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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