According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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