did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
