Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
