Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
