Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
