So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
