Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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