so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
