He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
