So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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