I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
