This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
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Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize