i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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