after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
