Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
