There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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