you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
