I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
