do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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