Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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