Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
