i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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