I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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