I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
