Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
