he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
