How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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