Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
