Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
