I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
