Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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